La comisión contra el uso de las telecomunicaciones publicó ayer un demoledor informe en el que, según sus responsables, queda totalmente demostrada la relación entre el uso del móvil y el aumento de los casos de cáncer.

"Las gráficas no engañan", declaró Angus McTwitter, portavoz de la comisión. "La relación es tan clara que será difícil que alguien ose rebatirla".

Además, el estudio sacó a la luz unas conclusiones mucho más aterradoras.

Esta redacción ha podido comprobar como no sólo existe una relación entre las curvas de aumento de número de teléfonos móviles y la de casos de cáncer, sino que el estudio también muestra como la relación también se cumple en aspectos tan diversos como el aumento de canciones pirateadas, el aumento de la temperatura global, e incluso el índice de la pobreza en el mundo.

"Sabíamos que los teléfonos móviles eran malos, pero no nos imaginábamos que fueran la causa de todos los males de la sociedad moderna", comentó McTwitter, quien ha anunciado que su comisión realizará presión sobre los gobiernos de todo el mundo para que erradiquen esta plaga.

La comisión también anunció que espera obtener resultados similares al comparar el aumento de teléfonos móviles con el número de crímenes violentos en los que se ve envuelto un usuario de videoconsola, o con el número de programas televisivos de baja calidad que llegan a antena.

Pulsa sobre la miniatura para ver las gráficas.

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